Home Building a Life The Strength You Carry
A woman takes a quiet morning pause on a porch beside a garden.

Building a Life

The strength you carry

Faith, prayer, quiet practice and the people around you steady many households through hard times. What the research shows, and how to build that strength before you need it.

By Dan Whelan, founder of New World Survival

Researched from government agencies, university extension services, and other published sources. See our sources

Contents

What this page covers

Most of preparedness is about things you can see, count and store. Water in containers, food on shelves, a kit by the door, neighbors who know your name. All of it matters, and none of it is the whole answer.

The hardest moments in a disruption are not the ones where you need a flashlight or a wrench. They are the ones where you sit in the dark, the problem is not fixable tonight, and the only question left is whether you have something inside you that can hold the weight until morning.

This page does not tell you what to believe. That is yours. It covers what the research says about faith and meaning in hard times, six practices people use to build that inner strength, what to do when faith itself feels shaken, and the part faith communities play after a disaster.

The research

What steadies people in hard times

Psychologists have studied how people cope with serious stress for decades, and faith shows up again and again. Kenneth Pargament and colleagues found that people draw on religion in two broad ways, and the two ways lead in different directions.[1]

Comfort and struggle are different things

The helpful pattern looks like seeking comfort and guidance, working through a problem in partnership with God, and finding a larger meaning in what happened. A 2005 review that pooled 49 studies found this pattern was linked with better adjustment to stress: more acceptance, more optimism, more sense of purpose.[2]

The second pattern is spiritual struggle: feeling punished or abandoned, or questioning whether God can help at all. The same review found it was linked with more anxiety and distress. Those studies measured people at a point in time, so they show a connection, not proof that one causes the other, and most of the people studied were Christian.[2]

Hope is on the expert list

In 2007, an international panel of disaster mental health experts set out five things that help people recover after a mass disaster: a sense of safety, calming, a sense that you and your community can act, connection to others, and hope.[3] For many people, faith is where hope comes from.

The American Psychological Association describes resilience in similar terms. It names four core parts, connection, wellness, healthy thinking and meaning, and says resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. It also compares building resilience to building a muscle: it takes time and intention.[4]

That is the practical point of this page. The strength people draw on in a hard week is usually something they built in the ordinary weeks before it.

The practices

Six practices that build it

None of these requires a church membership, a seminary degree, or a particular set of beliefs. Each of them needs a little investment before the day you need it.

Prayer

For many people, prayer is the first place they turn: a few minutes in the morning asking for strength, and giving thanks for what is still here. Prayer can be a set form from your tradition or plain words of your own.

The research above points to how you pray as much as whether you pray. Prayer that brings comfort, guidance and a sense of partnership is the pattern linked with steadier coping.[2]

Meditation

Meditation is practice in holding still with what is happening without reacting to it right away. Ten quiet minutes a day is our suggestion for a starting point, not a researched dose.

The National Institutes of Health reports that mindfulness meditation may help with anxiety, depression and sleep, while noting that much of the research is preliminary. A small share of people have a bad reaction, most often more anxiety, and NIH advises against using it in place of medical care or to put off seeing a provider.[5]

Gratitude

A short written list of what is still here, rather than what is missing, is the simplest of these practices. It costs nothing and takes two minutes.

The best-known study is small. After September 11, 2001, researchers checked back with about 47 college students they had surveyed earlier that year, and the more resilient students reported more gratitude, interest and love in the weeks after the attacks. Those feelings accounted for why the resilient students showed fewer signs of depression.[6]

A 2021 review of 27 studies found gratitude exercises have only a small effect on anxiety and depression, so treat gratitude as a good daily habit, not a treatment.[7]

Time outdoors

Standing somewhere that people did not build, under a sky that was here before your problem and will be here after it, can change what feels possible.

A study of about 20,000 adults in England found that people who spent at least two hours a week in nature were more likely to report good health and wellbeing. It did not matter whether the two hours came in one visit or several. The study shows a connection, not cause.[8]

A community of faith

A congregation is a group that shows up with a meal and a willingness to listen, often before anyone asks. It is also a place where you see the same faces every week, which is how strangers become friends.

Research on disaster recovery points the same way. Political scientist Daniel Aldrich compared communities recovering from four major disasters and found that the depth of their social ties predicted recovery better than the size of the disaster or the amount of aid.[9]

Helping others

Turning outward when everything in you wants to turn inward is a practice in itself. The APA lists helping others as one way to build purpose and self-worth, and to connect with other people.[4]

Help works best with limits. Disaster work can wear volunteers down, so serve with a group that trains and supervises its people, and take the rest it gives you. Our volunteer management guide covers how congregations set those limits.

A note on struggle

When faith feels shaken

Hard times can strengthen faith, and they can also shake it. Asking why this happened, feeling far from God, or feeling angry are common reactions to loss. They do not mean you have failed.

The research is honest about this. Spiritual struggle is linked with more distress, which is a reason to talk about it with someone rather than carry it alone.[2] A trusted leader from your own tradition is a good place to start.

Faith communities that offer care after a disaster are expected to ask first, follow the person's own beliefs, and attach no conditions to help. Our guide to disaster spiritual care explains that standard.

After a disaster

Faith communities in a disaster

FEMA describes faith communities as leaders in disaster response. Much of the feeding, supplies, rebuilding, and long-term recovery work after a major disaster is led, funded, and staffed by faith-based volunteers, and they are often the last to leave.[10][11]

A FEMA training presentation puts it plainly: local congregations are among the most visible and likely sources of aid and information after a disaster, and a majority of the national members of National Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster have a religious affiliation.[10]

If your congregation wants to take on part of that work, our Faith Community Preparedness Guide walks churches, synagogues, mosques and temples through choosing a role they can sustain, from checking on members to running a feeding or support site.

Honest answers

Questions people ask

Does faith help people get through hard times?

For many people, yes. A review of 49 studies found that drawing comfort, guidance and meaning from faith was linked with better adjustment to stress. Feeling punished or abandoned by God was linked with more distress. The studies show a connection rather than proof of cause.

Do I have to be religious to build this kind of strength?

No. Meditation, gratitude, time outdoors, a close community and helping others are all practices people use whatever they believe. The American Psychological Association names meaning as one of four core parts of resilience, and meaning can come from many places.

What should I do if my faith feels shaken after something hard?

Know that it is common, and talk about it rather than carry it alone. A trusted leader from your own tradition is a good first call. If the struggle comes with hopelessness or thoughts of harming yourself, call or text 988.

Who can I call if I am struggling after a disaster?

SAMHSA's Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990 answers calls and texts 24 hours a day for anyone in distress after a natural or human-caused disaster. For a mental health crisis, call or text 988. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.

What role do faith communities play after a disaster?

A large one. FEMA describes faith communities as leaders in disaster response, and much of the feeding, supplies, rebuilding and long-term recovery work is led, funded and staffed by faith-based volunteers, who are often the last to leave.

A note on care

Where this page stops

This page is about the inner resources people build over a lifetime. It is not treatment, and none of these practices replaces a doctor or counselor when things are heavier than a hard week.

If ordinary days have become hard to get through, or the weight has lasted for weeks, talk with your doctor or a counselor. The APA says professional help is important when you cannot function as well as you would like.[4]

  • After a disaster: call or text SAMHSA's Disaster Distress Helpline at 1-800-985-5990, any hour, any day.[12]
  • In a mental health crisis: call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, any hour.[13]
  • If anyone is in immediate danger: call 911.

For the everyday version, our mental fitness page covers staying steady under normal strain, and emotional recovery covers what happens after something hard. To see where this page fits, return to Building a Life.

The most prepared household is not the one with the deepest pantry. It is the one whose people can look at each other across a dark room, with the power out and the news bad, and find something inside that says: we will get through this. Invest in it the way you invest in your water supply. Quietly, consistently, before you need it.

Sources

Where this page's evidence comes from

The research claims on this page come from the papers, books and agency pages below, read directly. News summaries of these findings often overstate them, so we cite the originals.

  1. Pargament, K. I., Smith, B. W., Koenig, H. G., and Perez, L. "Patterns of Positive and Negative Religious Coping with Major Life Stressors." Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, vol. 37, no. 4 (1998), pp. 710 to 724. Accessed November 5, 2026. doi.org
  2. Ano, G. G., and Vasconcelles, E. B. "Religious Coping and Psychological Adjustment to Stress: A Meta-Analysis." Journal of Clinical Psychology, vol. 61, no. 4 (2005), pp. 461 to 480. Accessed November 5, 2026. doi.org
  3. Hobfoll, S. E., Watson, P., Bell, C. C., and others. "Five Essential Elements of Immediate and Mid-Term Mass Trauma Intervention: Empirical Evidence." Psychiatry, vol. 70, no. 4 (2007), pp. 283 to 315. Accessed November 5, 2026. doi.org
  4. American Psychological Association. "Building Your Resilience." Last updated 2020. Accessed November 5, 2026. apa.org
  5. National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, National Institutes of Health. "Meditation and Mindfulness: Effectiveness and Safety." Last updated June 2022. Accessed November 5, 2026. nccih.nih.gov
  6. Fredrickson, B. L., Tugade, M. M., Waugh, C. E., and Larkin, G. R. "What Good Are Positive Emotions in Crises?" Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, vol. 84, no. 2 (2003), pp. 365 to 376. Accessed November 5, 2026. PubMed Central
  7. Cregg, D. R., and Cheavens, J. S. "Gratitude Interventions: Effective Self-help? A Meta-analysis of the Impact on Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety." Journal of Happiness Studies, vol. 22 (2021), pp. 413 to 445. Accessed November 5, 2026. doi.org
  8. White, M. P., Alcock, I., Grellier, J., and others. "Spending at Least 120 Minutes a Week in Nature Is Associated with Good Health and Wellbeing." Scientific Reports, vol. 9, article 7730 (2019). Accessed November 5, 2026. nature.com
  9. Aldrich, D. P. Building Resilience: Social Capital in Post-Disaster Recovery. University of Chicago Press, 2012. Accessed November 5, 2026. University of Chicago Press
  10. FEMA Region 1. "Engaging Faith Communities." Talk Shop training presentation, distributed by FEMA in October 2021. Accessed November 5, 2026. FEMA (PDF)
  11. Citizen Corps. "National Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster." Federal program page, archived by the University of North Texas Libraries. Accessed November 5, 2026. UNT archive
  12. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. "Disaster Distress Helpline." Accessed November 5, 2026. samhsa.gov
  13. 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Accessed November 5, 2026. 988lifeline.org

About the author

Dan Whelan is the founder of New World Survival. He and his wife Vicki rode out Hurricane Andrew in 1992 and spent the week after sorting donations at a relief center in Homestead. More than thirty years of household preparedness later, he built this site to pass on what works. Read their story