Digital Life · Your People
Not rescuing. Not taking over. Just being the person in the family who makes the complicated things feel ordinary.
Before anything else
The person you are helping managed a household, raised children, held jobs, and navigated decades of change before the internet existed. The fact that scam technology has evolved faster than anyone's experience does not make them naive. It makes them targeted.
Scams that reach older adults are operated by professionals who rehearse scripts every day, aimed at people hearing those scripts for the first time. Falling for one is not a character flaw. Reporting one is not embarrassing. The scammer planned this. Your family member did not.
Your role is not to take over their devices or restrict their independence. It is to set up a few protections together, teach a few habits worth having, and be the person they call before acting on anything that feels urgent. That is enough.
The approach
The wrong way to start is with something that happened to them. That registers as criticism, and the conversation closes before it begins. The right way starts with the world, not with their behavior.
"I read about a scam going around where someone calls pretending to be from Social Security. I wanted to make sure we both know what to watch for." This frames you as a teammate, not a supervisor.
"I set up a password manager last week and it already saved me from reusing the same password. Want me to show you how it works?" When you include your own experience, the conversation stops being about their weakness and starts being about something useful you found.
"Would it help if I sat with you while you set up two-step verification on your email?" is better than "I need to fix your accounts." The first respects their autonomy. The second takes it.
Do not try to overhaul everything in one afternoon. Set up a password manager this visit. Turn on two-step verification next time. Build a family code word the visit after. Small steps that stick are better than a blitz that overwhelms.
Practical steps
These are the protections that matter most, in roughly the order that reduces risk fastest. Do them sitting together. Let them do the tapping and clicking while you guide. The muscle memory matters.
Email is the account that resets every other account. Set a strong, unique password and turn on two-step verification. If they use Gmail, this is under Google Account > Security. For other providers, search "[provider] two-step verification." Walk through the setup together.1
A password manager is a program that remembers login information so your family member does not have to. It stores a long, unique password for every account behind one master password or their phone's fingerprint or face unlock. Most cost $0 to $3 per month. Sit together, install it, and move their three or four most important accounts into it during the first session.
Voice-cloning technology can replicate a grandchild's voice well enough to fool a phone call. A family code word is a pre-agreed word or phrase that anyone in the family uses to verify an unexpected call asking for money or information. It takes five minutes to set up and costs nothing.
A credit freeze blocks anyone from opening new accounts in their name. It is free, does not affect their credit score, and is the single most effective step against identity theft. Help them freeze at all three bureaus: Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion.2
Any unexpected call, email, or text that asks for money, passwords, or personal information gets one response: "Let me call you back." Then they call you or another trusted person before acting. This single habit stops most scams, because scams depend on urgency.3
What to watch for
According to the FTC's 2025 report to Congress, older adults reported losing $2.4 billion to fraud in 2024, with estimated true losses far higher because most fraud goes unreported.4 The FBI's 2025 Internet Crime Report recorded $7.7 billion in elder fraud losses across more than 201,000 reported victims aged 60 and older.5
The types that reach older adults most often are not the ones that dominate headlines. Understanding the common patterns helps families know what to watch for.
A pop-up warns that the computer is infected. A phone number leads to a person who requests remote access and eventually asks for payment. Older adults reported $159 million in tech support losses in 2024.4
Callers claim to be from Social Security, the IRS, or Medicare and say benefits will be suspended unless the person pays or confirms personal information immediately.4
A letter, email, or call announces a large prize. To claim it, the recipient must send a processing fee, often by gift card or wire transfer. Real prizes never require payment to collect.
A caller impersonates a grandchild in distress, often using AI-generated voice cloning, and begs for money immediately. The FBI reported $352 million in AI-assisted elder fraud losses in 2025.5 A family code word stops this pattern.
For a deeper look at how pressure, urgency, and secrecy work across all scam types, see The Anatomy of a Scam.
If it already happened
Start with this sentence, said out loud: "This is not your fault. These people do this for a living." Say it before anything else, and mean it. The shame is the second injury, and it is the one that stops people from asking for help next time.
Then take three immediate steps together:
Secure the accounts. Change passwords on email, then financial accounts. Turn on two-step verification if it is not already on.
Contact the bank. If money was sent, call the bank or credit card company immediately. They may be able to reverse or flag the transaction.
Report it. File a report at reportfraud.ftc.gov and at ic3.gov (FBI). These reports help law enforcement track patterns and shut down operations.6
AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline: 877-908-3360 (free, Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. ET). Trained specialists provide guidance and emotional support to anyone targeted by fraud, regardless of age or AARP membership. The helpline also offers support for family members who are concerned about a loved one.7
If an account has been taken over, the first-hour recovery guide covers the steps in the right order. For the full identity-theft and financial-fraud recovery process, see When You Have Been Scammed.
Adjust for the situation
Isolation is the single largest risk factor for scam vulnerability. Regular check-ins matter more than technical setups. A weekly phone call where you ask "Has anyone called asking for money or personal information?" is worth more than the best antivirus software. If they are comfortable with it, set up a shared emergency contact in their phone so they always know who to call first.
If memory, judgment, or decision-making have changed, the stakes are higher and the approach is gentler. Consider adding a trusted contact at their bank and brokerage, which allows the institution to reach you if they notice unusual activity. Many banks offer this formally. You are not taking control of their finances. You are adding a second pair of eyes with their knowledge and consent.8
You cannot sit together at the kitchen table, but you can still help. Schedule a video call and walk through the setup steps with screen sharing. Mail a printed card with their family code word and the phone numbers to call if something feels wrong. The caregiving disruption guide covers the broader challenge of supporting a family member from a distance.
Respect the resistance. You cannot force safety on an adult who does not want it. What you can do: keep the door open, mention scams you hear about in conversation, and make sure they know your phone number is the first number to call. Sometimes the willingness to accept help comes after a close call, not before.
What does not help
Taking over their devices without asking.
Installing software, changing settings, or removing apps without their knowledge destroys trust. Even if you are right, the relationship damage outweighs the security gain.
Saying "I told you so" after a scam.
This guarantees they will not tell you about the next one. The goal is to be the person they call, not the person they hide from.
Treating all older adults as the same.
A 65-year-old who uses a smartphone daily is in a different situation than an 85-year-old who has never used email. Meet them where they are, not where you assume they are.
Overloading a single visit.
Five changes in one afternoon means none of them stick. One setup per visit, with practice, builds the muscle memory that actually protects them.
Keep going
How to build a simple verification plan that stops impersonation scams, including AI voice cloning.
The patterns that never change: pressure, urgency, secrecy, and unusual payment. Recognition is the best defense.
When a family member needs more support than you expected, including the financial and emotional dimensions.
This page was last reviewed in July 2026. Digital guidance changes faster than most preparedness topics. If that date is more than a year old, confirm key steps against the sources above before acting on them.
Enough for now
Check in quarterly, or whenever scam patterns shift in the news.
This guide is part of When Something Looks Off — all the guides for this concern in one place.